Still waiting...

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14

I hate to wait. Just ask my wife – she can affirm that for me, “on time” is late, and early is “on time.” When we have a fifteen minute drive to get somewhere, I MUST leave at least twenty minutes before we’re supposed to arrive. When I’m renting a RedBox DVD, I whip out my smartphone and find out what movies are in the kiosk before we get up there, so that I’m not one of “those people,” taking ten minutes to browse through the same DVDs over and over, making other people wait while I make up my mind. (No offense if you’re one of those belated kiosk browsers!)

We live in a society that doesn’t slow down. We want instant gratification. We have fast food. Curb-side pick up. Instant oatmeal. Hot’n’Ready Little Ceasar’s pizzas. We have drive-thru oil changes and drive-thru flu shots. Why save up for that “must-have” item when you can charge it? At hospitals, we absolutely loathe the rooms designed for waiting. We even have “ringbacks” on our cellphones, so that – God forbid – if you have to wait to speak to someone you’ve just called, you can at least be entertained. Some of this is natural. Deep down, we understand that time is our most precious commodity. Each day we work, trading our precious hours for dollars. Our lives are so busy, we don’t want to spend ten minutes waiting for a pizza, much less a half hour over the stove to heat up dinner. Waiting seems to squander the little time we have left at the end of every day.

Waiting is a practiced art, closely intertwined with another word that makes our skin crawl – patience. Quality doesn’t come out of a vending machine. Ever taste the difference between instant coffee and freshly ground arabica coffee beans in a French press? Let things simmer slowly, and you can unleash the fullness of flavor within.

The hardest thing of all is to wait on God. Maybe you’re in the midst of a storm, and you just want it to end. Maybe God has given you dreams and visions, and you’ve met disappointment after disappointment in the pursuit of those dreams and visions. And yet, God commands us to wait. Be strong. Take heart. Wait for the Lord. Wait. What God understands, and we must learn, is that GOOD things take time.

Just as with cooking, “waiting” isn’t a passive activity. It’s full of expectation. Anticipation. It’s a season of preparation for what lies ahead. Whatever it is that you’re waiting for, put the time to good use. Pray with your spouse. Together, you’re stronger than you are individually. Ask God what he wants you to be doing in preparation through this season of waiting. Resist the urge to stagger through life, lurching hurriedly from moment to moment. Practice waiting on God, and expect the good things he has in store for you and your family.

But they that wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31



~ Cameron

Through the Eyes of a Child

        I often wonder what my daughter sees when my husband and I have a disagreement.  Though she is only two years old, that little personality of hers is picking up on things he and I would never even think about.  And then it hits me: one day, she will have a husband.  One day, she will be in a very similar situation.  What reactions am I giving her that will go with her throughout her life? 
       It is often said, “We marry our parents!” It’s unbelievable the number of times I’ve heard this phrase! I can honestly say, with Cameron and me, it’s true.  There are things I do that I can just picture my mother-in-law doing. But Cameron would be the better judge on that fact.  My perspective is my husband. There are things Cameron does that send me back to my own childhood and I picture my dad.  From my father’s quirky sense of humor to his geeky love for sci-fi, and even his OCD leanings-all traits that my sweet dearest contains.  Not only do we marry our parents, but we become like them.  Ask any person who knows both my mom and me on a deep level, and they will tell you I am so much like her!  In fact, each one of my sisters and I contain certain characteristics and traits that our mother passed on to us-some of us more then others. :D So, if the old saying has any merit, what type of role-model are we truly being for our children?

To put this into perspective, I’ve begun to ask myself these simple questions. 
                        
                         1.)    If I had a son, what type of wife do I desire for him to marry?
                               ~Do I want my future daughter-in-law speaking/treating my son the way I 
                                just spoke/treated his father?
                         2.)    What kind of wife am I showing my daughter its ok to be?

Don’t worry husbands.  It works just as well when you flip the coin over.

                         1.)    What type of husband do you desire your daughter to marry?
                               ~ Do you want your future son-in-law speaking/treating your daughter the
                                 way you just spoke/treated her mother?
                         2.)    What kind of husband are you showing your sons its ok to be?

        All these questions hold significant weight. And they are questions that each of us must answer within ourselves as we examine our own responses and actions towards our spouse.  We must not forget the innocent eyes that are watching us as we interact with our significant other.  Because as the Bible says….

Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
 

~Shanté

Extra: I came across this adorable private video that a family created for their son's first birthday.  It is to the song "I want to Be Just Like You" by Phillips Craig and Dean. Enjoy! :D

Potty-Training 101

As I sit here on my couch, looking out the window, I’m reminded of God’s goodness and His faithfulness.  There are so many things the Lord is teaching me through our daughter.  Sometimes, I just laugh!  A few weeks back, I tried to attack the oh-so-exciting potty training of our 2-year-old daughter, for the second time.  It was going beautifully! The first day of attempts came to an end with mommy and baby both exhausted.  She had wet herself more times then I could count.  With each passing day, she grew better and better.  In fact, I believe we got down to one mess a day.  But then, out of nowhere, she decided to regress, again.  I became so weary, that I threw the towel in.  (Probably even a couple of towels….)  She knew what I wanted/needed her to do.  However, she flat-out refused to do it.

Then it hit me-I am her!!  What?  Really??  I felt the nudging of the Holy Spirit whisper, “Exactly.”  Needless to say, that thought left me baffled and full of questions.  The Lord was not comparing me to a toddler, prone to tantrums. (Though, for most of us, that analogy would be spot on too.)  No, the Lord was showing me something different.  “How many times do I show you the way to fix a situation?  But because it’s too painful, you take things into your own hands, you believe your way is better.” You see, our daughter regressed because she wasn’t willing to tolerate the pain and discipline it takes to potty train.   However, as her mother, I can see the many benefits of her becoming potty trained-benefits that she can’t see right now. 

There are so many times in our life we act just like my 2-year-old little girl.  In your marriage, God has shown you certain things that you need to work on.  Things that either need to be thrown out, need to be fine-tuned, or things that need to be discussed between you and your spouse.  But because the pain and (more so) discipline that road is going to lead us down is not something we bargained for, we simply hit the breaks.  God sees the benefits and outcome of you growing in His ways and applying His truth to your marriage-even when you don’t see those benefits.  Don’t you think it’s about time we grow-up, and put on our Christian underpants instead of our Christian diapers?  Fortunately for us, our God is so gracious and merciful; He’s not willing to give up on us, as I was so ready to do with my own daughter. 

~Shanté 

Not Feeling It......

I had an epiphany late last night.  Let me draw the picture for you.  I was emotional. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about: there really is no reason for it, but you feel like everything is annoying you and you analyze every little thing your husband does. No? Am I the only one that does that? I find that hard to believe. So, as any good husband would do, Cameron gave me a very nice shoulder massage to work out some of the tension that had built the last few days.  As I was sitting on the floor, becoming very relaxed, I believe God just dropped this analogy in my head.

If you’ve attended a wedding at some point in your life, I’m sure you’ve heard the scripture reference found in Ephesians 5.  Yes….THAT scripture! I, personally, like the way The Message phrases it, “Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So, just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.” *Queue ladies moaning in disgust.*

Cameron and I have been waiting on the Lord for quite a few things lately.  But last night, I just wanted to debate some things.  We’ll just say I was in “less then a submissive mood.”  As Cameron was massaging my shoulders, this scripture popped into my head.  Naturally I began to debate the Lord in my spirit. (I know I’m not the only one who does this….we are human for goodness sakes.) “Lord, I don’t feel like being submissive right now.  I want to challenge his opinion about this. I don’t want to respect his wishes on this area.”  And then this question popped into my head, “Do you always ‘feel’ like loving your husband? Or have you “committed” to loving your husband?”  Well, anyone who’s been married longer then the honeymoon phase can tell you, it’s a commitment-a choice.  You’ve committed to loving him through sickness and in health.  Therefore, we can conclude that love is a choice, even when our emotions say otherwise.  It’s the same way with respecting and honoring our husbands. Sometimes, when you don’t feel like submitting to his authority on something, it doesn’t always mean your desire to respect him has left.  That desire is just being buried with human emotions.  So, we must press on through those emotions.  We must commit to respect our husbands and their headship, the same way we committed to love them.  You can’t expect yourself to always feel like submitting to their spiritual covering.  But if we commit to do so, regardless of what our emotions are telling us, then we’ll reap the blessings that come from obeying this essential command for marriage.

Remember, God is not finished with us yet. If you believe Christ has finished His work in you, and you’re still alive, I would like your autograph as the only “perfect human being still with a heartbeat.” J Philippians 1:6 says, “being confident of this that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  We won’t get it right every time.  But make a decision today, with the Lord’s help, to commit yourself fully to your husband-not just in love-but in honor and respect. You’ll be amazed at how this changes your mindset.  I know I was blown away!!!

~Shanté

Last Tweet

I was shocked this morning to learn that Andrew Breitbart, a conservative commentator and author, had passed away at the age of 43. I recently turned 30, and I found myself using a phrase I'd previously heard my father use:“That's too young.” It's a harsh reminder that each and every one of us is getting older. Each of us, whether we like to admit it or not, has an unknown “expiration date.” We are all blessed with a finite number of days on this earth. Today, Andrew Breitbart's friends, family, followers and even his enemies are remembering the life that he lived, and the impact he made in his short 43 years.

One article I read referenced his last tweet. He had apologized for calling someone a putz. I found myself wondering, what would he have said if he knew this was his last tweet? Personally, I hope for something profound and timeless, but none of us knows which tweet will be our last. Husbands, when you left for work this morning, what were your last words to your wife? To your children? Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Another translation says, “Don't say anything that would hurt another person.”

If today was your last day, how would your life be remembered? Would you be remembered as a good husband and a good father? What would people say when they reminisce about you? Make the most of every moment. Take every opportunity to build up your spouse and encourage your children. Speak life into your family. The decisions we make today, and the words that we say will resonate for eternity.

~ Cameron

Percolating Thoughts

He who finds a wife finds a good thing. (Proverbs 18:22a)

As we embark on this journey together, what better place to start than at the very beginning? Shanté and I met through our College and Career Life Group at church. At first, neither of us had any interest in anything more than friendship. (In fact, she and her sisters ignored me completely at first!) But over time, we became friends, and after many late nights drinking coffee at Tim Hortons, we became best friends.

Over the course of a summer, we fell in love. By November, we were dating. In February, I proposed. What followed was a whirlwind of wedding planning and a roller coaster ride of emotions as two lives – and two families – joined together. Through it all, we saw the hand of God in our lives.

What an amazing adventure it has been! From friends to best friends, newlyweds to parenthood, through hardship, sacrifice, and more blessings than I can count, our story continues to unfold. With each passing day, I find Proverbs 18:22 to be more and more true: I have found a wife, and I have found a good thing, and received favor from the Lord. There is no one I would rather spend the rest of my life with.

Marriage is about living life together. This will not just be a marriage blog, but a life blog. It is my desire that “Reflections of Unity” will both reflect the image of marriage that God laid out in his word, and that it will provide opportunities for reflection, to examine our marriages and make them stronger. Just as God called husband and wife to become one flesh, He wants us to be in unity with His will for our lives. He may not always lead you where you planned to go, but I promise you the results will be far better than you ever imagined.

~ Cameron

“Cameron seems like a great guy.  Too bad he’s such a geek!”  Those were the very first words I muttered to my older sisters about my future husband.  Unaware of the journey ahead, I found myself in a place of enjoying the single life-no one to answer to, no phone calls to be missed, no attachment to any one person.  I had no idea the one person who would change my life forever, was the one man I had just written off.  Wow, was I mistaken!

Don’t get me wrong, Cameron is a MAJOR geek, and proud to be! (Hence the reason, I have no hesitation in telling you so!) But what I was mistaken in had little to do with him.  It had everything to do with what God was doing in my life and in me.  The next several months were a giant whirlwind of events.  All of which cascaded into one pivotal moment-a conversation over a cup of coffee at Tim Horton’s.

I’ll never forget that night.  Over the course of the summer, Cameron had become, literally, my best friend.  We had so many similarities yet just as many differences.  But how could I love my best friend? He was like a brother to me. A brother that I had never had.  Yet somehow, some way, the Lord was merging our paths.  I could feel it.  I knew, on that fateful October night in Tim Horton’s, my world was about to change, and would never be the same again.  As we sat across from one another, staring into each other’s eyes, we both knew this was it.  This was the moment we had both been praying for.  We never did drink our coffee….

Here we are, married for 3 and half years.  Instead of conversations over coffee, we find ourselves handing off dirty diapers, chasing a beautiful toddler around our 2 bedroom apartment, and crashing into bed at a time we used to deem the “beginning” of the evening.  I say all this, not to give the illusion that life is not what I expected, but rather so you may know Cameron and I are just like you and your spouse.  We may not have similar backgrounds, marriages, or even family lives. However, we are all human.  We don’t have all the answers.  But we know the one who does!!! :-) I am so excited to be going on this voyage and explore this new territory of “blogging." All the while, having my best friend by my side, going with me!  And I am so thrilled that you have joined us on this journey as we examine, very candidly, the many aspects of marriage and the bumps along the road, in the light and direction of scripture found in God’s Holy Word.  I hope you’re just as excited as we are, because this is going to get crazy!

~Shanté